How to have more Self Confidence

Have you ever wondered how to have more self-confidence?

In this video Dr. Joseph shares the 4 things that make all the difference when it comes to feeling confident. This is an amazing TEDX talk, well worth watching…

You can have more self-confidence!

I will share 4 ways that you can do to help you to have more self-confidence – these are;

1.  PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE

If you want to have more confidence you have to practice the skill or task you’re doing until you feel confident. If you want to be a great speaker, you have to practice your speech over and over and over again – in the mirror, with your family, with friends, with strangers, until you feel so confident, because you’ve worked to be the best you can be.

I am finding that I  do this more and more how do you get to being successful or confident about what you do if you do not practice for example – I have refined and redefined my networking 60 second pitch and through the help of getting great advice from fellow business colleagues, research and redefining who I am and what I want others to know who I am – I am now in the stage of practice, practice, practice.

Do you practice ?  If not how will you get to be the best that you can be?  Get out there practice, practice and practice some more – as Dr Joseph shares in this video this is how great athletes and sports people get to the top of their game, this is how great business people get to the level of great success that they have – practice practice practice and even when you think you are done practice it all again a bit more.

2. GET GOOD SELF-TALK

We all have this negative self-talk that goes in our head. But guess what, there’s enough other people telling us we can’t do it, that we’re not good enough, so why do we want to tell ourselves that? We know for a fact that thoughts influence actions… so we need to get our own self-affirmations.

Recognising your own negative self talk is a good starting point for change. Then stop it and start the process of change immediately – look in that mirror each and every morning you get up and start with your own positive and good self – talk and get your own self-affirmations.

For me I found this really difficult at the start but I am learning to challenge that negative self talk and re-connect again with the good and positive self talk about me – as a person, as a parent, as a business person and as a person who is successful.  I am great, I love what I do, I am passionate about what I do and I do it because I am bloody good at coaching people, supporting people and I am successful.  Find your own self affirmations and start doing this now – with days or even weeks what the difference – you will start to stand taller and believe in yourself much more.

ps – stop hanging around others whose  self talk to themselves and others is negative – you will never change if you are surrounding yourself with negative people – I promise you that.

3.  WRITE A SELF-CONFIDENCE LETTER TO YOURSELF

When you’re feeling confident and positive in your life, take the time to write a letter to your future self about the things that you’re proud of.

Dr. Joseph says the reason to do this is…

because there are moments, and we’ll all experience them, in our career, in our life, in our job hunting, in our relationships, when we are not feeling good about who, what and where we are.

It’s in those moments that you need to get our your letter to help you get through the storm.

When I watched this video and listened to Dr Joseph I decided to do just that – as someone who has suffered from depression over the years and can easily slip into that negative self talk phase this has proved to be an absolute little gem – get your pen out and write yourself that self-confidence letter.  List all the things that you have been successful at over the years, all the things that are good for you, and I mean everything.

This I keep in my office on my wall – especially for those days as pointed out by Dr Joseph that we all get, because we all do get moments when we do not feel great about ourselves and this helps to knock those days out of the ball park and get us back on track in being more confident about ourselves.  Focus on the positive things not the negative – after all the says goes

What you focus on is what grows and develops

So focus on positive always.

4.  SELF-CONFIDENT PEOPLE INTERPRET FEEDBACK THE WAY THEY CHOOSE TO

When something doesn’t go your way, how do you choose to interpret it? How do you choose to respond? Self-confident people choose to respond in a positive way, that helps them to keep moving forward.

I used to think that I was not successful, not popular, not business orientated, and lots of “I can`t do that” moments.

What changed?  Me realising that I was all of those things and so much more – plus working on my self confidence, self talk and staying positive no matter what.  That’s what changed?  I tapped into myself – and looked back to help me look forward.  I read, I listened and I began to practice to get my own self confidence back again.

Now post redundancy, 4 years post redundancy, I now know that I am all the things I thought I was not – successful, popular and I am running my business in a way that suits me and what I do.  I am a successful parent and that my self talk is about working to my strengths focusing on what I can do and staying strong on it all.

I hope this all helps you in knowing how to have more self confidence.

Enjoy

Self confidence actions for you to do immediatley

1. Write yourself your letter or make your list.

2. Put the letter or list prominently for you to see and read it when you feel that your confidence is slipping or you are just having one of those days.

3.  Write out your own self affirmations and do the same again.

4.  Every morning before you do anything else – say your self affirmations  and practice.

Thank you xx