My Journey to change

 My Journey to change

End of 2014

2014 became the end of fear and a new beginning towards change – again all sounds so dramatic and so forth, but to be fair it was not really – but it was the wake up moment – the Aha moment that I heard and listened to this time.

A friend contacted me and offered me some work within a local school – and I found my feet and some self respect and focus – my confidence and self esteem in such a short period of time improved and by christmas 2014 I realised that I did not want to go back to any of the feelings, negativity and behaviours that I had been through and been experiencing in 2014.

I have not mentioned even the business with you – both were ok but unfocused and lacked clarity – WHY? because I did. I was and had been operating in panic mode – consistently throughout the year – fear of change, and in total denial that anything needed to change ūüôĀ not a happy place to be in at all.

To the outside world all was grand, nothing wrong and all ok – yet my weight was ballooning, I was struggling with debt and money and trying to cope being a menopausal hormonal woman as well – it was like my body was attacking me constantly and had become my enemy…….. the warrior and superwoman models of behaviour back in play then!!!

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And so began 2015 – Change! New Beginnings

In this blog I will only deal with the start of 2015 as I actually feel this is like a living blog series of posts and I do  not want to swamp anyone in what all went on or even get so deep that it becomes a bit boring either.

Some parts of the year will be faster than others and some can be skipped lol ……. I am not going to bore you with – woke up, had breakfast – what I ate was etc – omg nothing like that – but it will be about a very simple journey of awakening that happened for me and how it is and has impacted on me personally and in turn then within my business, plus how I coped.

Menopause – added ingredient to the mix

My journey to change can not ignore this lovely little added ingredient into the mix.

I just can not go any further without raising this in regards to me and my coping strategies around it all and of course its impact on me Рpersonally and my business.  Omg it has floored me at times.  I started it all around 44 years of age possibly even sooner Рand it was not just the hot flushes for me it was major hormonal upheaval and irratic behaviour Рso after fighting it for quite a while РI pushed to be on HRT and stayed on them for around 2 years Рbut as you know everything has risks РI have a range of health issues and one of which is `sticky blood` so being on HRT really became an non option avenue Рso came off them.  Which is good but needed a replacement Рso researched and found Starflower and Menopal Plus from Simply Supplements and a slight change to diet Рbut thats also in the year of change blog lol.coming or going - menopause

But being a woman in the change – trying to make changes and deal and cope with changes – no one said it would be easy but dear god……………. please it just becomes another layer of complicated. ¬†Plus no one told me your brain goes to mush, your memory gets fucked or that you feel so irratated with everyone so often. ¬† But it was the memory lose and sometimes confusion that upset me and put fear of dementia into my head – that was what I struggled with more than hot flushes and sweats – have a room full of 45 + year olds in any room and you just have to make sure no heating on and plenty of water available and of course near the toilets – forgot bladder weakness comes next as well – holy shit I felt I needed traded in ………………..cartoon on computer

January 2015 – now Change

Ok so I did not wake up suddenly 1st January 2015 and go – thats it – change. I did wake up and go – ok what do I need to change and how the fuck am I going to do this……… oh shit – and then the internal dialogue of – ok Sharon, get a grip first things first what needs sorted first. ¬†Money – what you have, what you don`t have, what you owe, what you paying out, getting in and getting comfortable with making sure you know it inside and out – where you are Right Now?

So thats what I did – not right on New Years Day but the very next day…. 2nd January – I got out everything – bills, credit cards, bank statements and started really taking back charge of what I needed to know about where we were right now – personally and also as a business. ¬†And it was not that pretty to be honest – not major bad but enough for us and if we continued in same vein – it would not end well.

With the week I had registered online with bank – I know why had it taken me so long – no answer other than did it and got it set up and then I looked again – and I got hubby to look and we sat down and just went – RIGHT (BIG SHOUTY WORDING) …… lets get a grip. ¬†When we budgeted previously it worked for us – but we had gone of the rails (no idea what really did it as christmas was not an expensive spend but we had majorly gone off the boil). ¬†We had to get back on track and right now.

And we did Рat the same time as getting a grip of our money, cancelling direct debits no idea what for Рex rugby club hubby had stopped playing at 14 years ago ? I know only £2 a month but 14 years of £2 a month adds up Рthen magazines and others shite that really I did not need, we did not need Рnow down to bare minimum as bills going out only and essential bills only.

But I also joined an online FB challenge РMoney : A Love Story Challenge by Kate Northrup

https://www.facebook.com/groups/MoneyALoveStory

This started my journey into 2015 making changes РI know some might find it a bit hocus pocus as its Fengi Shui orientated but for me it made sense Рit started me doing and thinking and actioning Рand thus the change began.  For the 21 days I engaged in the Fb group and got so much from it all РI would recommend anyone seeking out challenges like this Рit asks you to take responsibility and then to take action Рand that is just what I started to do.

Action – is it painless ?

No its not Рits not easy Рwe, me РI had to face the reality that I needed to take back the control Рtake on the responsibility of our money, my money and begin to love it all again and not allow it to control me.  The fact that its taken me 10 months to even be blogging about this all РI think sort of says how deep rooted my fear of change and talking about it has been.

At 49 years of age Рnearly 50 lol Рto actually admit that this is all not perfect and running smoothly and that I have taken so long to get my head right (and still doing so) and all the other stuff as well Рis really hard, in fact its taken me all of 10 months to be able to put it on here РI thought I was the worst mum, wife, partner, business woman, woman let along person Рbasically I was a failure Рafter all how fucking hard can it be Рbeing organised, being in the right mindset, not getting distracted, not getting into negative behaviours and attitudes, get slim, get fit, be successful, make money  Рaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh.

And that was the crucial piece РI felt a failure РI felt I was not as successful as I wanted to be and to be honest at times I was not sure I actually wanted to do what I needed to do to turn it around Рtherefore by definition I was lazy and therefore a failure and therefore did not deserve to be successful.  Vicious cycle and it just went round and round and round Рand it was this i had to stop.

But the journey began – change begun and it has grown – its still not right, but good enough, right enough to make changes and progression.

 

2015 has been a battle with Money Рloving it, growing it, managing it, saving it, spending it, cherishing it Рbut I am in control of it more and more.  It no longer controls me Рas I get towards end of the year and look forward to 2016 РI believe I value it more and embrace it better than I have ever done before. I recommend her book and doing the challenges Рif nothing else worth a go to get some sense of what you need to do to progress forward.  Seriously it so makes sense and something many many many will not be covering in Business coaching or other areas of support.

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http://Money, a Love Story: Untangle Your Financial Woes And Create The Life You Really Want

 

I am still in midst of the declutter !!! seriously its an ongoing area of work with me – but one I am more insightful on – I recognise the triggers for spend and I am now looking at it all as – do I really need it, will I use it, what could I use that money for if did not spend it on x – is this an investment or a drain, is it an asset or not – and if all of the answers are not positive then its not considered.

The other thing I began to get a grip of…….

Organisation – change

Being organised is key for me Рand having become so dis-organised had lead to overwhelm and all of the above for so long Рso doing the Money : A Love Story Challenge started the process off and made me realise just how out of whack I really was.  This floored me as I felt when I worked in the Public sector for my 20+ year career I was Mrs Organised, so OCD and quite anal to be truthful on where things went and keeping things organised Рso this chaos and dis-organisation is where my overwhelm and lack of everything came from along with mindset of course too.

So the journey of change had begun and I was beginning to get a grip – and I was going to focus the whole of 2015 to do it – what I did not realise was that taking this year might only be the start……………… the focus I did not realise totally in January, February or even March of 2015 was that the change was about me and me alone.

Money a Love Story ;¬†”¬†So what does self-care have to do with money? Everything. Remember, you’re trying to change your thoughts about you – to open your eyes to your worth. …………………. Self care is about loving yourself. ¬†If you can`t learn to put energy toward your own care and feeding, who else will? ¬†……………………………………………..Money is about what we value. ¬†We pay for what we value. ¬†We pay attention to what we value. ¬†This is an issue of valuing yourself.”

 

And that was it Рthis year has been about money, organisation, family, business, mindset, getting fit, getting healthy all on one level  Р but its really been  about love and value Рme learning to love and value me again and its not all been plain sailing.

what you think important

 

And so the journey of 2015 continues for this 49 year old menopausal woman in business ūüôā ………

I hope you continue to follow me on my blogs right up to the present day across my year.  You will always be welcomed.

Thank you x Sharon ūüôā

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you ready to change challenge – Day 2

Are you ready to change challenge – Day 2

Yesterday I asked you to answer 2 questions;

Who do you think you are? and Who do you need to think you are to have the life you want?

Why did I ask these 2 questions?  Because we need to start with understanding of ourselves and how we see ourselves and especially how you see yourself.

Are you ready to change challenge today is about our own Self belief in ourselves, challenging the self limiting beliefs that we have of ourself, our abilities, talents, business ability and right to be successful or even happy with our life, our selves and what we do or who we are.

Self belief - it starts hereWe need to believe in ourselves (in yourself) 100%, when you view yourself as being worthy of everything good that you can do or create for yourself and regard yourself as worthy of only the best Рthen you begin to create a world around you that is positive,successful and happy because basically anything becomes possible.  I am not talking about money or finances here РI am talking about living a life that you deserve Рhappiness, peaceful, financial freedom (it will come if you focus on working on it positively and productively), successful and worthy of deserving all these things.  We need to focus on our good qualities and our strengths but all too often we find ourselves being negative, focusing on our bad qualities, using negative self talk, focusing on our weaknesses and surrounding ourselves with those people who just back all of that up Рafter all its easier to do that Рand many of our own self limiting beliefs from our childhood and past also back that up too РI am not worthy, I do not deserve being happy, successful, financial freedom, its too hard to work that hard, its too much for me, I can not lose this weight, I am not that smart Рoh its always me Рpoor me poor me poor me blah blah blah blah Рwe allow our inner self talk and our past dictate who we are and what we are doing now, and what we want to do in the future.  Hence we form the `bad` habits of not believing in ourselves and now working on ourselves and making ourselves personally or in business successful Рfirst small defeat or failure Рgive up and tick the box of more evidence of why we are not worthy of success or happiness.

STOP IT NOW – are you ready for the change challenge?

You said you were ready to commit – you said you are ready for the change challenge – you agreed to the 4 things I asked of you.

Motivation, Self Belief, Self Discipline and Willingness to Challenge yourself.

So do it now Рfrom yesterdays questions put your past behind and focus only on the future Рwe have been working on being positive, using positive language, being around positive people living positive no matter where.  I know its not easy but start forming the good habits for yourself now for your future Рsmall steps become huge steps and great movements forward Рand are the format for making long term habits for successful lives and successful living.

Are you ready to change? – challenge¬†then your self limiting beliefs, let go of the past that is holding you back, silence your negative self talk/ inner voice –¬† Believe in you 100%¬†

success starts with self beliefAre you ready to change challenge Рstart today Believe in yourself Рbelieve you are worthy, deserving and that you can and will be successful and that you will achieve that person you need to be to have the life you want.  Otherwise you will continue to stay in exactly the same place you are now and have exactly the  same results you have now Рyou are reading this blog and following this challenge for a reason Рgo on you have nothing to lose and all to gain.

Are you ready to change challenge –¬†You have the motivation now as committed to change – you are now starting that journey of self belief and believing in yourself 100% that you can do it. Now have the discipline to keep on that track over these last 5 days and have the willingness to challenge yourself – start making the changes towards having the life that you want – personal or business.

 Day 2 РJournal Рwrite in this your responses to these statements;

The limiting beliefs I hold about myself are……………………….

The 3 limiting beliefs that hold me back most of all are……………………

From these responses to these statements you now have all the information you need about the most damaging and restrictive ways in which you see yourself. These last 3 main ones show you how powerful their influences have over your life – lets look at changing those beliefs and no longer let your past conditioning influence your life any longer.

1 more for today please if that is ok – I ask you 1 more exercise to do – then tomorrow we are going to move onwards – to leaving them behind and moving on to the new you and leaving them all behind in the past.

Write down in your journal

The cost to me, in my life, of my limiting beliefs is……. (write down 5, no more than 10)

This can be difficult and upsetting – but do not dwell on this long – write them down recognise them for what they are but dwell no longer than necessary acknowledge them and then let go of them.

Are you ready to change challenge –¬†it is now time to let go of the past and begin building your future – tomorrow onwards.

Good luck, have fun with this and enjoy.

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Day 1 – Are you ready to change Challenge?

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Day 1 – Are you ready to change Challenge?

Day 1 of the challenge is to find out if you are ready to commit to the challenge of change.  Are you ready to have a week of challenges to give you a little insight in to coaching and also about how to go about moving towards the life you really want.

Coaching moves people forward, fast and easily – so lets start on the journey of change and of you reaching your full and true potential.

Ok Рbecoming ready for change is about committing to the process of looking at where you are now and what or where you want to be in the future.  This is only a short 7 day challenge but together during this change challenge  we will look at your life together and I will ask you to be tough on yourself as I want you to commit to action, not talk or excuses but action Рbecome a can do approach rather than `I can`t do that , or I am not able to do that, not yet, not now, maybe later.` Not good enough Рif you follow this (its only 7 days and I am asking a small committment here really in the scheme of life of things) make it work for you Рwhat have you got to lose?

Are you ready to change challenge 

1.  Looking at focusing on the here, now and the future Рmaking small steps making small changes Рprogression forward Рalways forward

2.  Looking at whats working and what is not and being honest in this with your self.

If its yes to all above.

Then lets make a contract to work with one another for 1 wekk – 7days – let commit to being ready or becoming ready to change.

My committment to you

I will commit to working with you Рasking questions and giving direction and challenge.  That I believe in your full potential to do all you can and I believe in you 100% with no judgements and I will bring 100% of myself to you in this 7 day journey.

Your committment to – being ready to change challenge

What I need from you are 4 things;

*Motivation:  vital Рyou have to want change, you have to be prepared to work at change Рif you are willing to do something then your motivation should be high and you are ready to do what changes are needed.

*Self РBelief:  Here is how you believe in yourself deep inside Рare you worthy or deserving of good things ie what good things your changes bring to you you accept and enjoy them. Otherwise you will sabotage yourself and your work to keep you from changing and back in your old ways of thinking and believing in yourself Рdo not under estimate the power of your inner voice for good and not so good in our lives.  Your self-belief might not be brilliant at the moment but we will work on that.

*Self-discipline:    vital Рbecause when the going gets tough it is your self discipline that keeps you moving forward.  Change brings sometimes discomfort and it is on those days when tired, feeling low or feeling not progressing or disillusioned that you need this to kick in to keep you going Рthis your friend indeed and one many need to keep working on.

and finally

*Willingness to challenge:  being ready to challenge yourself, all you know about yourself and the world you have known around you all your life. To create new ways of thinking and being and open yourself to new possibilities for yourself, both in your personal and business life.

 

So Рare you ready for  change challenge

This is only 7 days but you will be surprised how far you can travel in 7 days – start laying your foundation stones or blocks for changing to your ideal life or ideal business life – are you ready to take up the challenge!

Begin a Journal with

Day 1 – Ready to change Challenge – and begin by looking at these few questions. Write your answers in your journal – do it intuitively ie do not think about it too long – just write them and do not be afraid of what you write to either of the questions – trust yourself – never be afraid to have dreams or aspirations – but be honest with yourself – only you will see.

Who do you think you are?

Who do you NEED to think you are to have the life you want?

To start we need to know where we are and then to also know where we are wanting to go – and its the same with ourselves.

Good luck and have fun with this all over the next 7 days – thank you for taking part and I look forward hearing back from you on how your challenge is going.

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Life is a Celebration

Life is a Celebration

One of the major important things that we often forget to do in our lives is celebrate.

In the quest for positivity and changing my life I have begun to make small changes by celebrating life – celebrating successes small or large – often daily. Not with big parties and big showy stuff but just by acknowledging them and saying in many cases `well done` to myself, my family, my friends and to those clients and business partners I work with. Wow what a difference it makes.

Life is a celebration – and it should be – coaching for me has made me learn how to and what to celebrate and enjoy from life – both on a personal and a professional business point of view.

Life is a celebration – and it should be – we often carry around with us Life Scripts from our past and it often these that are in many cases very negative for us – placing the seeds of doubt, telling us we are `not good enough` to deserve to be successful (in whatever format that might be its not always about financial success).

Life is a celebration – and it should be – after all what is there not to celebrate – in many cases many other people would love to have what many of us have – its about re framing our thinking, re looking at things and wondering and pondering and then finding solutions rather than finding problems.

So lets together Live Life and enjoy life and celebrate life, in all its glory – and hey without the bad things or times we can not really always then appreciate the good – no one ever said Life was a bed of roses but you can always make it better – getting into the right frame of mind is what is important. And this goes for being in business as well – having the right business mindset, thinking sometimes outside of the `box` is important and maybe even vital – so celebrate life with me and remember

Celebrate all successes no matter how small or large and Celebrate Life.

Celebration Quotes, Pictures, Life Quotes, Happiness Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Thoughts and Pictures

Read More >

30 Day Positivity Challenge

30 Day Positivity Challenge – The story so far

Early July I set you the task of looking at – or should I say re looking at attitude and approach to life ie positivity and all its connotations.

Well how are you getting on?

Staying positive is the key…. ¬†using positive language….. re thinking things and celebrating successes no matter how small they appear to be – its a mind set approach and strategy – thats the challenge – this is the 30 Day Positivity Challenge – celebrating success small or large and getting used to doing just that.

Moving from I don’t think I can do this

To

I can do this I just need to `relook` at how I do it

This is the biggest change you need to engage in – I found it works for me.

My biggest challenge in the 30 Day Positivity Challenge Рblogging and doing proactive work on my business re new clients and Development Plan development workshops and so forth.  Now I am more active in blogging (slow but getting there) and the development plan Рwell once I stopped beating myself up it happens to be coming along nicely РI moved from being too busy to do anything to getting organised and setting it out simply but starting it which was half the battle.

Its not easy – I know, often the negative thoughts come in – I call it my little devil on my shoulder whispering in my ear – `you can’t do this, who told you you were smart enough, what makes you think anyone would listen to you ` and the list goes on.

BUT – he is getting quieter as I get stronger in my positivity and belief in myself that I can do things, I will make it and I am getting successful both in my personal life and my business/work life.

Why not – positivity is making life so much more enjoyable – seeing things from a slightly different angle or approach is fun, challenging but enjoyable – I even have the kids at it and the husband.

Well if you want to have only positive people around you need to make sure those closest and dearest are doing it too – and its there I physically see the positivity radiating – hubby going for things in work that never considered before or even appeared interested before in.

The kids are the same, less squabbling, less put downs to one another, (still have normal teenagers and angst and stuff but not as before) and the household is, dare I say it `happier`.

Positivity and the offshoots of it have brought more benefits that I realised – I have had to work hard at it but really it seems to be paying off.

I practice it every day and now getting more and more used to stopping myself – from glass half empty to half full approach – and its this mind set that is the change.

After all you don’t see the top entrepreneurs or business people stop and doubt their own ability to make money or be successful – they are confident they will do just that and it is this confidence that allows them to do it. If something does not work – they reason it out why and then move on with a new approach.

Positivity and the power of being positive is very `catching` and you often find that other people around you begin to feel confident along with you, they embrace your positivity – hence why you should not then be around negative people as they only sadly suck your energy and positivity dry.

Like attracts like, positivity attracts positivity – that has been the 30 day positivity challenge.

How have you got on over the past 30 days ? let me know as this is all part of the life changes that many of us have to engage in – you are like a magnet you attract things to you or even a boomerang – what you throw out there you inevitably get coming back to you – worth remembering.

So thats the 30 Day Positivity Challenge – what changes have occurred – keep a journal of it all,

staying positive - celebrate your sucesses

Stay positive – celebrate your suceses every day, no matter how small!

and where are you now on your journey.

Keep smiling keep being positive.

Keep Celebrating your successes everyday, whether they are big or small.

 

 

 

Staying Positive – Really does it work!

Staying Positive – Does it really Work?

I have decided to set myself the small but important challenge of getting this blogging off the ground and running.

So here it is – these are my tips at staying positive and how it can actually work for you – from a real person, dealing with real issues in a very real and normal life.

6 Simple Tips for Staying Positive

1.  Set your self a challenge that you want to start to make changes in your life Рthat is the first and the most important step Рbecoming positive or more positive about life needs you to WANT to make changes and go with those changes.

2.  Keep it simple and start small Рbegin by LOOKING for what is going right in your life rather than what is going wrong.

Start making those lists and taking some time out of your life to really look around you on what you have, who you know, what you are good at, what you are learning or have learnt and then be thankful for those things that are right in your life – this could become a bit of a mantra for you on a daily basis to do before bed and when get up in the morning.

staying positive - celebrate your sucesses

3.  Celebrate success Рno matter how small or how insignificant it might seem at the time.

4.  Use positive language all the time Рtry not to get back into the habit of using negative language as this blocks you from seeing the positives or what is right and where those right things are.

5. Keep a journal, diary or how ever you want to record things – this is wonderful to look back on and reflect on how far you have come and it usually is in a quicker time than your realise.

6. Surround yourself with positive people and like minded people – not about shunning friendships but you will find that as you become more and more positive and looking for the good and right things that the negative people move on – some still try to bring you down but in time even they get fed up and move on – do not let negative people suck you dry of your energy or positivity.

Now I know this might seem all a bit twee but honestly start looking at things slightly differently from a more optimistic point of view or attitude and you will be surprised how many times more possibilities and opportunities arise for you.

Go on why not try it for the next 30 days with me and I will blog at least once a week on how it is going for me – no messing with it being wonderful if not but being honest with one another.

I dare you to take up the challenge.

30 day positivity challenge

Sharon