Personal Development / Growth Coaching

Life is a Celebration

Life is a Celebration

One of the major important things that we often forget to do in our lives is celebrate.

In the quest for positivity and changing my life I have begun to make small changes by celebrating life – celebrating successes small or large – often daily. Not with big parties and big showy stuff but just by acknowledging them and saying in many cases `well done` to myself, my family, my friends and to those clients and business partners I work with. Wow what a difference it makes.

Life is a celebration – and it should be – coaching for me has made me learn how to and what to celebrate and enjoy from life – both on a personal and a professional business point of view.

Life is a celebration – and it should be – we often carry around with us Life Scripts from our past and it often these that are in many cases very negative for us – placing the seeds of doubt, telling us we are `not good enough` to deserve to be successful (in whatever format that might be its not always about financial success).

Life is a celebration – and it should be – after all what is there not to celebrate – in many cases many other people would love to have what many of us have – its about re framing our thinking, re looking at things and wondering and pondering and then finding solutions rather than finding problems.

So lets together Live Life and enjoy life and celebrate life, in all its glory – and hey without the bad things or times we can not really always then appreciate the good – no one ever said Life was a bed of roses but you can always make it better – getting into the right frame of mind is what is important. And this goes for being in business as well – having the right business mindset, thinking sometimes outside of the `box` is important and maybe even vital – so celebrate life with me and remember

Celebrate all successes no matter how small or large and Celebrate Life.

30 Day Positivity Challenge

Posted on 08.9.13 | Leave a Comment

30 Day Positivity Challenge – The story so far

Early July I set you the task of looking at – or should I say re looking at attitude and approach to life ie positivity and all its connotations.

Well how are you getting on?

Staying positive is the key…. using positive language….. re thinking things and celebrating successes no matter how small they appear to be – its a mind set approach and strategy – thats the challenge – this is the 30 Day Positivity Challenge – celebrating success small or large and getting used to doing just that.

Moving from I don’t think I can do this

I can do this I just need to `relook` at how I do it

This is the biggest change you need to engage in – I found it works for me.

My biggest challenge in the 30 Day Positivity Challenge – blogging and doing proactive work on my business re new clients and Development Plan development workshops and so forth. Now I am more active in blogging (slow but getting there) and the development plan – well once I stopped beating myself up it happens to be coming along nicely – I moved from being too busy to do anything to getting organised and setting it out simply but starting it which was half the battle.

Its not easy – I know, often the negative thoughts come in – I call it my little devil on my shoulder whispering in my ear – `you can’t do this, who told you you were smart enough, what makes you think anyone would listen to you ` and the list goes on.

BUT – he is getting quieter as I get stronger in my positivity and belief in myself that I can do things, I will make it and I am getting successful both in my personal life and my business/work life.

Why not – positivity is making life so much more enjoyable – seeing things from a slightly different angle or approach is fun, challenging but enjoyable – I even have the kids at it and the husband.

Well if you want to have only positive people around you need to make sure those closest and dearest are doing it too – and its there I physically see the positivity radiating – hubby going for things in work that never considered before or even appeared interested before in.

The kids are the same, less squabbling, less put downs to one another, (still have normal teenagers and angst and stuff but not as before) and the household is, dare I say it `happier`.

Positivity and the offshoots of it have brought more benefits that I realised – I have had to work hard at it but really it seems to be paying off.

I practice it every day and now getting more and more used to stopping myself – from glass half empty to half full approach – and its this mind set that is the change.

After all you don’t see the top entrepreneurs or business people stop and doubt their own ability to make money or be successful – they are confident they will do just that and it is this confidence that allows them to do it. If something does not work – they reason it out why and then move on with a new approach.

Positivity and the power of being positive is very `catching` and you often find that other people around you begin to feel confident along with you, they embrace your positivity – hence why you should not then be around negative people as they only sadly suck your energy and positivity dry.

Like attracts like, positivity attracts positivity – that has been the 30 day positivity challenge.

How have you got on over the past 30 days ? let me know as this is all part of the life changes that many of us have to engage in – you are like a magnet you attract things to you or even a boomerang – what you throw out there you inevitably get coming back to you – worth remembering.

So thats the 30 Day Positivity Challenge – what changes have occurred – keep a journal of it all,

Stay positive – celebrate your suceses every day, no matter how small!

and where are you now on your journey.

Keep smiling keep being positive.

Keep Celebrating your successes everyday, whether they are big or small.

The Power of Believing in Yourself is Key to Success

Posted on 08.7.13 | Leave a Comment

Read More >

Staying Positive – Really does it work!

Posted on 07.25.13 | Leave a Comment

Staying Positive – Does it really Work?

I have decided to set myself the small but important challenge of getting this blogging off the ground and running.

So here it is – these are my tips at staying positive and how it can actually work for you – from a real person, dealing with real issues in a very real and normal life.

6 Simple Tips for Staying Positive

1. Set your self a challenge that you want to start to make changes in your life – that is the first and the most important step – becoming positive or more positive about life needs you to WANT to make changes and go with those changes.

2. Keep it simple and start small – begin by LOOKING for what is going right in your life rather than what is going wrong.

Start making those lists and taking some time out of your life to really look around you on what you have, who you know, what you are good at, what you are learning or have learnt and then be thankful for those things that are right in your life – this could become a bit of a mantra for you on a daily basis to do before bed and when get up in the morning.

3. Celebrate success – no matter how small or how insignificant it might seem at the time.

4. Use positive language all the time – try not to get back into the habit of using negative language as this blocks you from seeing the positives or what is right and where those right things are.

5. Keep a journal, diary or how ever you want to record things – this is wonderful to look back on and reflect on how far you have come and it usually is in a quicker time than your realise.

6. Surround yourself with positive people and like minded people – not about shunning friendships but you will find that as you become more and more positive and looking for the good and right things that the negative people move on – some still try to bring you down but in time even they get fed up and move on – do not let negative people suck you dry of your energy or positivity.

Now I know this might seem all a bit twee but honestly start looking at things slightly differently from a more optimistic point of view or attitude and you will be surprised how many times more possibilities and opportunities arise for you.

Go on why not try it for the next 30 days with me and I will blog at least once a week on how it is going for me – no messing with it being wonderful if not but being honest with one another.

I dare you to take up the challenge.

30 day positivity challenge

Sharon

Getting Started in the World of Coaching

Posted on 01.31.13 | Leave a Comment

Well, after today and being referenced in a colleagues blog, I felt I needed to get back to this blog thing that I have had set up on my website here at www.sljassociates.co.uk.

Confirmation That Coaching Is For Me

Today has made me realise that I might actually be working in the right direction for my skills, knowledge and experience – not that I actually doubted that to be fair internally – i.e. the left side of me screaming at me regularly, “Yes, Yes, Yes! – coaching is for you. Not counselling, advice and guidance. Not all that other stuff – but coaching (bring in those other skills you have) but its coaching for you lady.”

But I also have a right side of me going… “Mmmmm, are you sure now?” (Can you even hear the slower voice and pondering, thumb and fore finger rubbing chin and asking with nodding head – are you sure this is for you – are you sure anyone would want YOU to coach them?)

And sometimes, this little act of internal discussion can stop any of us from proceeding down the road of what we would truly like to do – and although mine has not stopped me – this internal dialogue has certainly slowed me down in taking part in the big `putting myself out there scenario`s and debates.

I am not even going to begin in this blog to look at what my own lifescripts were or where my self limiting beliefs came from, or any of that – thats another discussion and a blog discussing how they can prevent and block so many of us for reaching our true or possible potentials. So, it’s not for today.

My Coaching Journey

Today for me is about why or how or what brought me into this area of work and into the direction of Coaching. Prior to 18 months ago or even 12 months ago – say anything to me about `coaching` and I might have sort of flickered in my head sports coaching, management coaching. Maybe I thought a little about it being mentoring and the like. But business coaching, performance coaching, personal development and life coaching or any of the areas in this world and I might have asked, “Mmmmm, not sure explain that to me a bit more.”

Yet, little had I realised I have been operating in this arena for over a decade and did not even realise it.

My journey… I could pretend started back when working in the Corporate World or in the Public Sector that have been enslaved to for 20+ years. I played about on the fringes of it all – got qualified in all sorts of areas and used those skills to broaden my experiences and widen my understanding of working with people – as it’s that journey that has been the greatest one. It does not matter what company, what business, what part of the world, what part of the country, or what community – it is all about working with people – and that I have done all my life and always been sort of ok at…

That’s not to say I have everyone liking or loving me, but 99.9% I believe could work with me. So that was what my life work and journey has been so far – people – I am in the business of people and people are my business. Sounds simple. I know, I thought so too…

“So, is that it?” I hear you ask – no it’s the “so what?” question. So what you work with people? And…

Well the AND was around 12 months ago. Starting to believe again in myself, in my skills, in my potential to be successful, to be positive in mind, body and spirit, in letting go of past, in being an instrument for myself to be successful – to be able to do anything I want, to be the person I have always wanted (and knew) I could be. That journey began by reading a book that I have read before, talked about with friends and colleagues I’ve worked with for many years (as I said before, I walked on the edges of this path for so long)

The book that started my coaching journey

Rhonda Byrne The Secret

Now I know many of you will go, “And..? It’s been around for a while now and its been talked about and raved about and yeah, yeah, yeah so what?”

Well let me just say – this was no ephiphany moment – no loud choirs singing and rumbles of thunder and a new awakening. This was a gentle meander into literally just opening my eyes to really start to `see` and `hear` the world around me. REALLY SEE IT AND REALLY HEAR IT.

For once I was looking at a future where I could see my own business growing, see myself growing and doing things that I wanted to do in a job and a destiny I wanted to create and develop.

How did this come about?

I created it.

After having a heart attack at 44 years of age – seeing my kids and husband panic stricken and scared as it came straight out of the blue, no warning, no indication anything wrong – nothing. I decided to attempt to stop and evaluate what was going on.

I failed at that miserably believe me – but I decided to take voluntary redundancy from a corporate public sector job been doing for 20 years in the March as I was having my heart operation in the April 2011. Not that I gave my husband much of a choice – I was undefeatable, I was in charge. Of course he would agree it was the best thing to do.

I had the operation and did not look for work until the September as it gave me summer off with kids so all was good… Well, not really as nothing had changed – other than I was just not working.

So September came and I began process of looking for work and came into contact with Job Seekers Plus and the fabulous world of signing on. Apparently I was entitled to 6 months – what a nightmare.

I walked into the lions den and got eaten alive…

Not because I was naive or anything but because I had become so removed I did not think anyone would not, or could not see why they would not want to employ me. I had a CV full of qualifications and experience and skills – and remember would pay me the sort of money I’d previously been on.

Quickly I realised this might not be the best path – maybe I might want to look at my own world of business and running a company for myself – I dallied off this path a little and got a total kicking. Metaphorically speaking of course.

So, by March 2012 my self confidence and self esteem was at an all time low and an all time zero existence. My marriage was suffering, my health again was suffering due to being so `angry` all the time and unhappy – just full stop unhappy.

Then came me walking out of a `job` after less than 24 hours. I’d never done anything like it – EVER. That night, the relief was tangible but it started me thinking – why, what, how, where, when – and I sat in my sun lounge and picked up a book had been lying there for a while (see playing on the edge) and began reading this little funny little book called The Secret – and I could not put it down.

I was intrigued – I even went out and bought myself The Secret Daily Teachings. maybe this would help. After all, positivity, positive affirmations and attitude are a method of working. I’d being doing for years with young people and communities I’ve been working with for 20 years – so of course, it would be useful on me.

I then read more, researched more – Tony Robbins, Bev James… I went on a few coaching seminars, free weekends and workshops.

Now in the mean time, I had set up an internet online business in the crafting community – my own little business on Facebook and this was going really well – so knew I could do it. I took those skills (not like I did not have any!) and used them to set up SLJ Training.

But something was just not quite right.

Then I went to the right seminar and came into contact with Helen Reuben from Purple Tree in Birkenhead and began my journey to become a qualified performance coach…

…and that was and is how I got started in the world of coaching.

Not by accident, but by finally beginning to listen to what, and who around me were saying and have been saying for a bit! I still go back to that first little funny book and have read the rest The Power and The Magic – but I still believe that often it is the humble beginnings that are important. This made me really start to look at who I could be, why I wanted it and always had wanted it. But now I could use the right tools to go about getting it.

And that’s what I wanted to do in my business – I am my own instrument in unlocking my own potential in my own success – and my work in coaching is about working with people. For them to be their own keys or key in unlocking their potential in their own success – no matter what that is.

That’s my business – I just had not been able to really see or hear that over the past few years – so now finally seeing and listening.

I finally got to realise that this is my goal and dream. I love working with people, I love to see people transform – getting it, realising that they are able to `do it for themselves`, being resilient, not having to rely on others, solving it for themselves…

See? People are my business.

So thats my starting point. Not the previous 20+ years. It has just lead me up to gathering all the tools, resources and understanding of myself that I need to be able to get on and make me and my business successful and all that I am involved in successful. I have 2 fabulous kids that I want to be able to go on in life and do and be the best that they can be – and see me as their role model for that.

I have goals for my business, in its development and where ultimately I would like to see it and me in the near and distant future. But it’s started and progressing – and that is all that is important. The rest is all just history.

Learning the need to look at Balance in your life

Posted on 11.26.12 | Leave a Comment

What is Balance?

Over the past months and definitely over the past few weeks – I have been drawn back time and time again to look at the whole area of Balance in our lives and in my life in particular.

What is this? What is its meaning? Is there one ? and I am reminded repeatedly that I am looking to at my own life and what I am doing and how is the balance in there – and realised I am just a bit out of kilter at the moment and need to strive to get back (if ever had it in the first place a sense of balance) – work and home life balance, personal relationship balance, family life balance, friendship balance and so on and so forth.

This, I know, resonates with many others out there and is not just limited to myself. I have never not worked, never been out of work for any length of time over my working life so far, and struggle to just do nothing. I am now starting to wonder – what is that all about? why do I need to fill my time up so much? do I need to have so much going on? or can I just allow it to stop or slow down for a while?

Even in this short blog so far look at how many questions have come up – tonnes – so maybe this is me now giving myself the space and time to be able to either answer some of those questions or to be fair, just to consider them as well.

I have groped (yes groped as it has felt like I have been groping for long time) around for defined answers, rather than just woolly fluffy responses that define nothing, but just often end up leading to more questions or nothing. I feel like I am awakening to a new understanding, that some questions just do not have defined hard edged answers – some of the questions have woolly, fluffy responses and I may never know the whats or the whys – and you wonder why my head gets wrecked.

But lets get back to balance – what is it all about – its about fundamentally recognising when there is an imbalance and wanting to see how or what you need to do to get the balance back. Where it is in your life is an irrelevancy as it will be personal and pertinent to you and you alone . Once you have identified it this is the first step to putting it right. For me it was and is about working out what being self employed is all about – whose wants or needs am I looking to sort out – mine, Mikes, Kids, friends – and then looking at what needs to be done to get that balance right again. Whether I achieve it fully or not, who knows but its always a work in progress – but better a work in progress than never to have decided to do anything.

I have also decided in my quest to look at other area where more balance in my life is needed – to stop beating myself up over it all – the journey (the process) is the area for learning and development as I may well never get it `right` – who knows what that would look like – perfection personified and I am not sure that will ever be me ha ha ha ha ha – here is the typical Aries looking perfection – but if I always do that will always then fail as there is no such thing as perfection – or is there?. See now you understand how I end up with head wrecked.

So the big part of the learning for me to be able to achieve balance is stop feeling guilty – or try to not feel so guilty – give the time you have freely and willingly and with pleasure – once that stops then you need to ask why – balance balance balance balance – such a simple word with so many hidden meanings and pit falls as its thrown at us all the time.

As a working mum – how do you do it? fit so much in and still have time for the kids, clean the house and look after your husband – well here is my response I am going to be using from now on – ok thank you – bit hectic at times, can become alittle manic ha haha but thats having 2 teenagers in the house, 2 large dogs, 1 husband and a busy mum as a business owner – how are you? Lets see what response get after that – I actually LIKE being busy and the business (busy ness) is what I thrive on – but I need to also listen to my kids and hubby too a bit more and be gentler and kinder to myself more as well.

So do I have a balance in my life – mmmm getting there a bit more each day as I get further and further away from the `old job` had for 20 + years and stepping closer and closer to `new direction` and new business of being self employed and working from home. Will I ever get the Balance – not sure you know, but I am starting to realise that I might be ok with that and can strive for it and be ok striving for it , recognise need it, work on it, stop using it to beat myself up with it (what that is about goodness only knows) and take greater pleasure out of it when I do get some of it.

So there you go bet you did not think that a simple word such as balance could be so powerful for both positive and negative – stop beating yourself up over getting it or not getting it – being on the journey of finding it is just as important and just as enjoyable – brilliant if you have it in all areas of your life as its a desire we can use to drive us. Being who we are in what we are doing and who we are to others that is what is important – having the personality traits that I do and some are good and some could work on – but that is what makes me ME – unique, flawed but still perfect to those I love around me – that is important.

So seek out your own balance and enjoy, have fun, and become a better person in the discovery of your own balance in life, and please please do not let others try to tell you what that should look like or be like – this is yours and yours alone to sort out – it does not have to be a complicated or complex route – sometimes the direct route is fine – some of us, like me just often like to go on the scenic tour rather than the direct route ha ha ha ha ha – have fun with it and do not feel guilty if not got it just yet but striving for it – doubt many have it – just keep knowing you need to work on it and why you want it – who is important and why .

Sharon