What is Balance?

Over the past months and definitely over the past few weeks – I have been drawn back time and time again to look at the whole area of Balance in our lives and in my life in particular.

What is this? What is its meaning? Is there one ? and I am reminded repeatedly that I am looking to at my own life and what I am doing and how is the balance in there – and realised I am just a bit out of kilter at the moment and need to strive to get back (if ever had it in the first place a sense of balance) – work and home life balance, personal relationship balance, family life balance, friendship balance and so on and so forth.

This, I know, resonates with many others out there and is not just limited to myself.  I have never not worked, never been out of work for any length of time over my working life so far,  and struggle to just do nothing.  I am now starting to wonder – what is that all about? why do I need to fill my time up so much? do I need to have so much going on? or can I just allow it to stop or slow down for a while?

Even in this short blog so far look at how many questions have come up – tonnes – so maybe this is me now giving myself the space and time to be able to either answer some of those questions or to be fair, just to consider them as well.

I have groped (yes groped as it has felt like I have been groping for long time) around for defined answers, rather than just woolly fluffy responses that define nothing, but just often end up leading to more questions or nothing.  I feel like I am awakening to a new understanding,  that some questions just do not have defined hard edged answers – some of the questions have woolly, fluffy responses  and I may never know the whats or the whys – and you wonder why my head gets wrecked.

But lets get back to balance – what is it all about – its about fundamentally recognising when there is an imbalance and wanting to see how or what you need to do to get the balance back. Where it is in your life is an irrelevancy as it will be personal and pertinent to you and you alone .  Once you have identified it this is  the first step to putting it right. For me it was and is about working out what being self employed is all about – whose wants or needs am I looking to sort out – mine, Mikes, Kids, friends – and then looking at what needs to be done to get that balance right again.  Whether I achieve it fully or not, who knows but its always a work in progress – but better a work in progress than never to have decided to do anything.

I have also decided in my quest to look at other area where more balance in my life is needed – to stop beating myself up over it all – the journey (the process)  is the area for learning and development as I may well never get it `right` – who knows what that would look like – perfection personified and I am not sure that will ever be me ha ha ha ha ha – here is the typical Aries looking perfection – but if I always do that will always then fail as there is no such thing as perfection – or is there?.  See now you understand how I end up with head wrecked.

So the big part of the learning for me to be able to achieve balance is stop feeling guilty – or try to not feel so guilty – give the time you have freely and willingly and with pleasure – once that stops then you need to ask why – balance balance balance balance – such a simple word with so many hidden meanings and pit falls as its thrown at us all the time.

As a working mum – how do you do it? fit so much in and still have time for the kids, clean the house and look after your husband – well here is my response I am going to be using from now on – ok thank you – bit hectic at times, can become alittle manic ha haha but thats having 2 teenagers in the house, 2 large dogs, 1 husband and a busy mum as a business owner – how are you?  Lets see what response get after that – I actually LIKE being busy and the business (busy ness) is what I thrive on – but I need to also listen to my kids and hubby too a bit more and be gentler and kinder to myself more as well.

So do I have a balance in my life – mmmm getting there a bit more each day as I get further and further away from the `old job` had for 20 + years and stepping closer and closer to `new direction` and new business of being self employed and working from home.  Will I ever get the Balance – not sure you know, but I am starting to realise that I might be ok with that and can strive for it and be ok striving for it , recognise need it, work on it, stop using it to beat myself up with it (what that is about goodness only knows) and take greater pleasure out of it when I do get some of it.

So there you go bet you did not think that a simple word such as balance could be so powerful for both positive and negative – stop beating yourself up over getting it or not getting it – being on the journey of finding it is just as important and just as enjoyable – brilliant if you have it in all areas of your life as its a desire we can use to drive us.  Being who we are in what we are doing and who we are to others that is what is important – having the personality traits that I do and some are good and some could work on – but that is what makes me ME – unique, flawed but still perfect to those I love around me – that is important.

So seek out your own balance and enjoy, have fun, and become a better person in the discovery of your own balance in life, and please please do not let others try to tell you what that should look like or be like – this is yours and yours alone to sort out – it does not have to be a complicated or complex route – sometimes the direct route is fine – some of us, like me just often like to go on the scenic tour rather than the direct route ha ha ha ha ha – have fun with it and do not feel guilty if not got it just yet but striving for it – doubt many have it – just keep knowing you need to work on it and why you want it – who is important and why .

Sharon