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10 Destructive and Negative Habits of Unhappy People

Top 10 Destructive and Negative Habits Of Unhappy People

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I have been working with people – young and old alike for the past 35 years and I have found that there is often a common thread that runs alongside or through those that are miserable or very unhappy in their lives – they exhibit poor habits that are both often destructive and very negative.

So I thought what I would like to do is outline these so that you can read them, see if you are exhibiting any of them or have similar habits.  As a coach I work with people on these destructive and negative habits – changing their mindset, transforming their lives by working with them to put long term changes in to place.  This is often working on changing habits and thought processes – making their mindset work for the construction of positives and positive habits for the future.

So what are these Top 10 destructive & negative habits unhappy people have that I mentioned?

Here are my top 10 destructive & negative habits

a.  Living to please other people

Living to please is one of the biggest mistakes and most destructive habits around that you can have. You are choosing to live your life trying to make everyone else happy and despite everything you do, you fail to make yourself happy.

It is one of the most used terms I hear all the time with clients – I just want everyone else to be happy then I will be happy.

REALLY…what is also difficult is other people trying to make you happy by them being happy!! It just goes nowhere to be honest and is so negative and destructive in the long run.  One of the best things you can do is to figure out what actually drives and motivates you on a really deep emotional level and then do it – for you.  Not to please any other person around.

b.  Negative self talk

Our actions come from what we tell ourselves daily. Unhappy people have the habit of negative self talk such as, ” I don’t know how?”, “It`s too hard”, and the biggest one I hear “I cant do that or do it”.  This is so often repeated throughout the day that unhappy people do not even realise that they say it so often and its such a destructive mindset and self talk to be in.

The key here to change is to begin rephrasing these negative self talk phrases into positive thoughts – and from those changes and habits to positive thoughts positive actions come forward.  Lets be honest on this one – it’s taken a long time to get into the habit of negative self talk and although you can quickly change and rephrase to positive, it’s always a work in progress and it takes practice. Sometimes you will catch yourself being negative and it’s then when you consciously challenge yourself or make the change to positive.

If you want to be a happier person start making that change now.

c.  You fear criticism

Lots of people spend their days worrying about what others think of them and will go to great lengths to look good or save face.  The ironic part of this all is that often the people that you are trying to save face from or worrying about what they think of you are doing something similar – worrying what you thing of them. So the cycle of fear continues.

This fear of criticism stops many in their tracks.  It prevents you from using your own initiative, taking risks, robs you of your imagination and takes away your self reliance.  Fear of criticsm is so destructive and damaging and makes for very unhappy people all round.

d.  The glass is 1/2 empty person

Pessimism is the result of a destructive and negative habit that has formed over a great many years.  It’s a hard habit to kick and becomes so unconsciously ingrained that it just becomes second nature.  If your first thought is a negative one, learning to become an optimist will need you to dig deep and develop a new mental approach, mindset change and learn new mental skills.  You will retrain your thought processes to see where there is opportunity instead of struggle.

In coaching with clients on many different areas and levels it is here that we do our greatest work – consciously changing your attitude.  Choosing to see opportunity instead of struggle or difficulty can be learnt – and a new positive habit can be formed.

e.  Letting the past dictate your future

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If you happen to live in the past all the time and regularly look back at negative and past bad experiences, chances are your life now reflects this and mirrors it in lots of areas.

Listen lets be honest – you can not change the past – I know it sounds harsh but you can not change time or the past.

Allowing yourself to stay attached will only drag you down and in fact often those around you also.

Learn to let go of things out of your control and focus on TODAY.  Living in the now rather than the past is key to moving on and becoming happier with who your are, what you are doing and where you are going.

Its a reality you need to embrace.

f.  You are sedentary

If you sit around a lot, sitting at the computer all day, then you move from the computer onto the sofa – or it’s where you sit all day long – it is not conducive for happiness.

Get up, get moving and get outside where you can.  Take the stairs, walk a little every day more than the previous day.

The endorphins you release from exercise (even a little ) is vital for creating a good mood and achieving happiness – get out and get moving, get active.  You do not have to be a marathon runner but exercise and being active is a key habit to work on.

g.  Constantly worrying

You are life’s worry wort?   Believe it or not, worrying is a choice like everything else.  You will also probably find that in your family growing up there was another worry wort and you have taken up their life script as your own.

Worry is such a waste of time yet causes so much unhappiness.  Worry is nothing but fear.

Fear is nothing but an excuse to do not do, to put off and not embrace areas of your life that could make you happy or be happy.  You sacrifice so much by worrying and then being fearful – stopping you from relaxing or being happy. You choose that and its a habit that wears so many of us all down.

h.You struggle to forgive and forget

Keeping hold of ill feelings towards someone or something is like carrying a huge weight around with you constantly.  I work with people who when they work on this area of their life and mindset and let it go find its like lifting a huge weight off their shoulders.

WE all have had bad experiences that leave a bad taste in your mouth – but forgiveness is one solution as well as deciding to let the hurt go and its a powerful concept.

Make a decision today to let it go. Learn from it and move on.

i.  You are a perfectionist

Perfectionism is one destructive habit that I had to work on really hard. It was one of my long term life scripts that really hindered and hampered me for my own personal development and engaging fully in a growth mindset.

Maybe its you – but we all know someone who is a perfectionist – trying to pursue perfection in all that you do may sound like a good thing.  If its taken too far, it can be so detrimental and actually hinder you physically but definitely with your emotional and mental health.

Perfectionism can lead to a host of mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and chronic unhappiness.  We can always do better and we can always learn from what does not go right!  It’s ok if things do not go to plan – learn from it and move it. You should be looking to not be a perfectionist but rather about improving your self, personal growth and having a growth mindset.

 j.  You define yourself by your job

Stop it now!  I did this for far too many years and it was a fruitless and very negative habit for me.  I was my job and I thought my job was me.

In the end it really proved the opposite.  I was so unhappy and so disillusioned and cynical by the time I decided to take the plunge and leave for my sanity and my health.  Best move ever

Today so many are in jobs they really do not love or want to do but feel that we are viewed by society as who we are by the job we have and living unhappily in that all.  We are not separate from our professions but believe to be defined by the job, the pay, the level of importance of it all  🙁

For me, once I dealt with this area personally, I was able to realise that I was not defined by my previous job and that really it had kept me back so much for far too long.  Working with a coach was what was key in all of this for me.

Choosing to be happy

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 Choosing to be happy is the first step.  Then you need to work at adopting good habits and remove the bad habits.

It’s practice and time – not always easy.  It’s the best choice you can make and the best start to becoming happier, more content for the future.

If any of the destructive and negative habits resonate with you It’s time to look long and hard at your life.

You can choose to be happy and choose happiness.  I can guide you forward to a happier future.

To book a consultation with mecontact me   Make a choice that is good for you today.

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